The turban we can’t stop talking about
On what we hold and what holds us
Mulla Nasrudin’s old friend Eynolla visits from a faraway village. Wanting to look presentable, he borrows Nasrudin’s turban before they go visiting together.
At the first house, Nasrudin introduces him warmly, then adds, “But the turban he’s wearing is mine.”
Eynolla is mortified. Please, he says. Don’t do that again.
At the second house, Nasrudin says: “This is my friend Eynolla — and the turban he’s wearing is his, not mine.”
Eynolla, somehow even more embarrassed, begs: just don’t mention the turban at all this time.
At the third house, Nasrudin introduces him warmly — and then adds: “And I have nothing to say about whether the turban he is wearing is his or mine.”
What would you tell Nasrudin to say at the fourth house?
Most of us reach, instinctively, for a better sentence or a cleaner instruction. “Just don’t bring it up, Nasrudin. Full stop.”
Which is exactly what Eynolla kept doing, but Nasrudin kept failing at.
The problem was never the turban, but how Nasrudin couldn’t stop thinking about it. He kept holding on to it, and so did the turban keep a hold of Nasrudin in some way.
We do this more than we’d like to admit in our lives as well.
The old version of yourself you keep explaining you’ve moved past. The grudge you’ve officially forgiven but somehow bring up in a new language. The role — caregiver, fixer, the one who always holds it together — that you didn’t choose so much as it chose you.
Some things we pick up. Some things pick us up. And the longer we carry them, the harder it becomes to tell the difference.
A question worth sitting with this week:
Think of something you’re holding right now — a belief, a role, a story about yourself or someone else. Now ask: Am I holding this or is it holding me?
With open hands,
Team FUEL
P.S: Mulla Nasruddin, also known as Nasreddin Hodja, was a legendary figure in Middle Eastern and South Asian folklore. He was famous for his wit, humour, and wisdom, which were often conveyed through anecdotes and stories.