The Fragrance of Character
On the invisible trace we leave behind.
Last week, we were sitting in a circle with a group of women in Rampur, a village tucked in the hills of Uttarakhand. We had brought along small slips of paper with simple words written on them; prompts to begin conversations rooted in their memories, beliefs or daily habits.
One of the chits said: Khushboo. Fragrance. Monica picked it up and paused for a moment, looking around.
“चारों तरफ फूल ही फूल है,” she said. “Flowers everywhere. And right now, I think everyone can feel their fragrance.”
It felt like the obvious place to begin. Then she moved gently from the flowers in the air to something she’d been noticing in people.
“फूल के अलावा भी… इंसान के चरित्र से भी एक खुशबू हो सकती है।”।” Beyond flowers, she said, a person’s character can also carry a fragrance.
She spoke about how, when you sit with someone and then leave, certain things stay with you, certain qualities keep returning. You find yourself thinking, there was something in them, something worth holding onto. A trace that keeps returning.
Charitra ki khushboo. The fragrance of character. We’ve been carrying those three words around ever since. Because they name something we’ve felt many times but never found the right shape for. The particular residue a person leaves.
A few months ago, in another circle, someone was describing a man named Venkat. And what he said stopped us completely. “Being in his presence makes me want to be a better person.”
Not: he gives good advice. Not: he has done remarkable things in the social sector. Just something about being near him lifts something in you. His fragrance, Monica might say, changes the air in the room.
This is different from influence. Influence is something you exert. Fragrance is something you are. It can’t be switched on for the important moments and off for the ordinary ones. It’s the slow accumulation of how you’ve moved through your days, what you’ve paid attention to, what you’ve let go of, what you’ve kept returning to, even when no one was watching.
And what Monica’s image insists is that you are always leaving one. The question is only what kind.
Try this
This week, after you meet or speak with someone — a colleague, a friend, a stranger at a counter, someone on a call, ask yourself: what fragrance did they leave? Notice what accumulates.
Fragrances that linger,
Team FUEL
P.S. Monica’s words came from a conversation in Rampur — one of many we’re gathering through our current initiative of documenting the wisdom of women in ecology across India. If this work calls to you, you can read more about it here.
I love this!