Finding belonging in Philippines
On identity, inheritance, and finding home within yourself.
How does one build belonging?
If you’ve ever moved away from your ‘roots’, you may remember the feeling of being untethered, drifting between identities, trying to make sense of new surroundings while holding on to what once felt familiar.
Belonging is often tested when we move. Sometimes, it is tested even more sharply when conflict emerges within the place we once called home— a clash of values that makes us question whether we still fit, whether we still want to carry that heritage forward.
For 28-year-old Michael, belonging was never simple.
“As the son of a Filipina mother and a white father, I bounced between answers depending on how I was feeling at the time,” he shares. “ I often felt I was half-part of each culture but fully belonging to neither. I navigated life carefully, always trying to step neatly between identities.”
The tension deepened when his Lolo (Tagalog for grandfather) passed away.
“Lolo’s last words were “I’m not sorry,” an expression of his continued disapproval of my mother’s marriage outside of her culture. I sat stunned, caught between anger and numbness. Because of that, I distanced myself from my heritage, feeling both guilt and resentment. I grappled with being a visual reminder of a painful family conflict, feeling alienated from my Filipino identity.”
Years later, Michael had the opportunity to visit the Philippines, including a stop near his mother’s village.
“I found myself standing outside the house my mother grew up in, touching the very walls that represented years of emotional barriers. I wept openly, feeling a profound connection I’d never experienced before. Turns out “where I’m from” has a physical place, and I felt drawn to want to know that side of me, even in all its complexity. Since the trip, I’ve realized that belonging isn’t about choosing sides or neatly fitting into cultural boxes; it’s about embracing the beautiful complexity of my unique identity. It’s the first time I’ve felt proud of who I am, both Filipino and white, fully myself without compromise.”
Michael learned a poignant lesson from this experience: “True belonging comes not from external validation, but from embracing and proudly living my own unique identity.”
Is there a part of your story you’ve stepped away from that is waiting to be revisited?
Hanggang sa muli (hang-GANG sa moo-LEE),
Team FUEL.